I knew that if I allowed fear to overtake me,

 my journey was doomed. 

Fear, to a great extent, 

is born of a story we tell ourselves, 

and so I chose to tell myself a different story… 

I decided I was safe. 

I was strong. 

I was brave. 

Nothing could vanquish me.

- Cheryl Strayed -

 

 

 Pray for the willingness… 

to respond when you are called, 

to grow when you are challenged,

 to forgive when you are wronged,

 to trust when you are tested,

 to give when you are needed,

 to feel when you are touched…

 to remember that you are loved.

- Paula Finn -

Keeper of an Empty Grave

 

  We can try to control the uncontrollable by looking for security and predictability, always hoping to be comfortable and safe.

 But the truth is that we can never avoid uncertainty. 

This not knowing is part of the adventure, and it’s also what makes us afraid.

- Pema Chödron -

 

 

Slecht is wanneer je maar één kant ziet.

Wanneer je bij die ene kant blijft.

Dus, wie bijvoorbeeld van zichzelf zegt 

dat hij alleen maar goed is, 

die is al weer slecht.

Hij ziet het slechte niet bij zichzelf.

Goed is wanneer goed en slecht 

een eenheid zijn.

 

- Een meisje uit een filosofische kindergroep 

geciteerd door Reinhard Kahl -

 

"Liefs, mammie"

 

IF YOU WAIT 

ALL THAT HAPPENS 

IS THAT YOU GET OLDER 

- Mario Andretti -

 

 

 

 You'll eventually discover that other people's opinions of us are none of our concern. 

Their opinions are a reflection of them, their background, their judgments, their expectations, their likes, and dislikes.

 Some people will never like you no matter what you do. 

Some individuals will always like you, no matter what you do. 

Your sense of your truth is the only one who matters. 

You have nothing to prove.

 

 

 

 

 

 Wie geen tijd heeft,

is armer dan een bedelaar.

- Nepalees gezegde - 

 

 

 

Papa kon het beter,

maar mama

 

 probeerde het beter.

 

Omdenken door kinderen
via Karin Hobelman

 

 

 With so much out of our control, 

caring for ourselves

—body, mind, and heart—

is the one thing we can do.

- Tiny Buddha -

 

 

 

Anne Dufourmantelle

 

Going The Extra Mile

I don’t really want to become normal, average, standard.

 I want merely to gain in strength,

 in the courage to live out my life more fully,

 enjoy more, 

experience more.

 I want to develop even more original

 and more unconventional traits.

-  Anais Nin -

NITCH

 

 

 

 The ones who don't let their past control their present.

Dropping the bitterness and living with an open heart.

Moving through life with gentleness makes a big difference.

- Yung Pueblo - 

 

 

compassionateinquiry

Depression is an inherited disease. No, it isn't.

What does it mean to depress something? It means to push it down. What do we push down with depression? We push down our feelings and emotions so we become flat. Why do we do that? Because when we were children we had emotions we weren't allowed to express, because our parents couldn't handle it. Not that they meant to hurt us, they just couldn't handle it.

So we adjusted, we learned that in order to maintain our attachment we had to give up our authenticity and push down our emotions so they wouldn't threaten the relationship. We pushed them down we depressed them, and then we've got this disease called depression.

 

 

 

 

IT'S NOT YOUR JOB 

TO BE A VERSION OF YOU 

THAT PUTS OTHER PEOPLE AT EASE 

haileypaigemagee

📣 It’s not our job, y’all! So let’s stop hustling for worthiness. Let’s be officially DONE with: ⠀
⠀
🙅🏻‍♀️ Shape-shifting⠀
🙅🏻‍♀️ Shrinking⠀
🙅🏻‍♀️ Laughing at jokes that aren’t funny⠀
🙅🏻‍♀️ Asking endless questions while getting no curiosity in return⠀
🙅🏻‍♀️ Saying yes when we mean no⠀
⠀
It’s hard and scary, but let’s take up space. Let’s replace these old behaviors with self-advocacy and honesty, like:⠀
⠀
🔥 Telling others when their behavior or jokes make us uncomfortable⠀
🔥 Getting comfortable with silence when it’s time for others to ask questions and get curious about us⠀
🔥 Setting boundaries that protect our bodies, minds, and hearts⠀
🔥 Being our weird, goofy, quirky, eccentric, alternative selves⠀
⠀
I’m so done making everyone else comfortable while contorting myself into the tiny spaces left behind. ⠀⠀
And you know ⁠— if they don’t like it, they’re not the right fit for us. There will be people who celebrate our wholeness, boundaries, quirkiness, and all. THOSE are the people we want our lives choc-full of.

⠀

⠀

 

 

 

boundariedbootcamp

It is not easy being an empathetic person if you were never taught healthy emotional boundaries to go with it. 😩

I can’t count how many (incredible, talented, loving!) people I’ve met who have been burned-out, depleted, or in danger of losing their own spark…

So burdened down by taking on the problems of others (but not knowing how to stop).

😞

Learning how to *feel-but-not-keep* frees us to finally enjoy our gift of empathy — and be able to use it as the wonderful superpower that it is. 💪

Boundaries. are. magic. 💖

❤️
Molly

 

 

 

jeffbrownsoulshaping

If you grew up in a hurtful home, you may have a hard time imagining that the world can be a soft place to land. You might figure that if your family didn’t hold you in high regard, no one else will. And, perhaps as a result, you hold yourself back from jumping into life, and seizing the day. Perhaps you keep yourself small and compact, skirting the edges of society, trying to go unnoticed. Perhaps you don’t allow yourself to dream, because you are certain that dreams don’t come true. Just like they didn’t come true in your family home, where things never seemed to improve.

If this is you, I have something to tell you: It’s not true. It makes perfect sense that you would feel this way, but it’s just a projected expectation from your lived experience. It’s all you know. But it’s not all that you can know. Because there is a bounty of good people who are willing to support your efforts to create a better life. I know, because I have met many. I entered my twenties certain that the world had to be harsher than my harsh upbringing. And I was proven wrong, time and time again. Sure, there were many who were perpetuating their own ancestral toxicity, but there were also hundreds of wonderful souls, none of whom were remotely interested in abusing or scapegoating me. In fact, many of them were just like me: trauma survivors with hearts of gold, seeking safe and supportive connection. Because at heart, we are all roaming the plains looking for a loving and functional family.

It’s astonishing when you realize that much of the world is kinder than your childhood home. When you do, everything starts to change. You realize that the worst is over (‘worst things first’), and that you are finally free to... live.

 

 

TRUST THE PROCESS

 

 

 

 Bekijk alles altijd 

alsof het ofwel de eerste 

ofwel de laatste keer is

 dat je het ziet.

 

Clouds Passing By - Timelapse

 

 

 An emotion is like a cloud passing through the sky.

 Sometimes it is fear or anger, sometimes it is happiness or love, sometimes it is compassion.

 But none of them ultimately constitute a self. 

They are just what they are, each manifesting its own quality. 

With this understanding, we can cultivate the emotions that seem helpful and simply let the others be, without aversion, without suppression, without identification.

- Joseph Goldstein -

 

De manier waarop we naar een probleem kijken 

IS het probleem.

- Stephen Covey -

 

I never was a person that thought

 because some person was doing one thing,

 and seemed to be making out better, 

that I should be doing the same thing... 

I’ve never wished for anybody else’s job.

 I enjoy what I do and I’m myself all the time. 

And I’ll continue to be me.

-Thelonious Monk -

NITCH

 

 

Wonderment

 

 

Als je een depressie hebt gehad,

 dan ben je al snel bang 

dat een slechte dag 

het begin van iets heel erg wordt.

- Ann De Craemer -

 

 

 

 

 When you are angry, 

be aware of your anger. 

As you become aware of it,

 you are no longer lost in anger. 

You get to see it from the outside. 

- Haemin Sunim -

 

 Stel dat je denkt dat het je helpt om controle over het leven te krijgen door je bij alles af te vragen hoe het gaat zijn, hoe het zou kunnen gaan verlopen.

 Stel dat je denkt dat je dat rust gaat geven, dat anticiperen, dat het voor comfort en zelfvertrouwen gaat zorgen als je elke ontmoeting, als je elk gesprek eerst uitvoerig in je hoofd repeteert. 

Stel dat je je bij voortduring afvraagt hoe het met je gaat. 

Hoe gaat het met mij in die situatie? 

En in deze? 

Zie ik er goed uit? 

Zie ik eruit als een goed mens? 

Stel dat je overal waar je bent, je ook als recensent aanwezig bent. 

Recensent van jezelf.

 https://www.standaard.be/cnt/dmf20211022_95917470

 

 

 Heel jonge kinderen en hun welzijn, dat is haar grote passie. 

Het net ontgonnen terrein van vroegkinderlijke ervaringen en wat die later in het leven allemaal teweegbrengen is haar vakgebied. 

Het feit dat ze rekening houdt met wat baby's ervaren - zelfs nog voor ze geboren zijn - is wat kinderpsychiater Binu Singh uniek maakt.

BINU SINGH

in Alleen Elvis blijft bestaan

 

 Hardship of Life" ("Ontbering van het leven") 

van de Turkse fotograaf Mehmet Aslan 

 

Gezinsgeluk en tristesse in 1 beeld 

 

 

 

 Peace doesn’t mean my life has no problems. 

It’s more like I don’t go to war with my problems.

 Which is another way of saying

 I’m not at war with my life,

 with myself, 

with you.

 And that is quite peaceful.

- Jason Garner -

 

 Speaking truly 

– to yourself and to others –

 means being authentic.

 Is your outer expression lined up with your inner experience?

Could you find appropriate ways to say your whole truth, 

whatever it is?

 

When you are up against a wall, 

put down roots like a tree,

 until clarity comes from deeper sources

 to see over that wall 

and grow.

- Carl Jung -

NITH

 

 

Le désarroi dans lequel nous nous trouvons est en fait une aubaine : il témoigne de notre sensibilité. Ceux qui traversent la vie sans le moindre sentiment de détresse sont inconscients. La détresse induite par notre prise de conscience recèle un immense potentiel de transformation, un trésor d'énergie dans lequel nous pouvons puiser à pleines mains et que nous pouvons utiliser pour construire quelque chose de meilleur, ce que l'indifférence ne permet pas.

JIGME KHYENTSE RINPOCHE (b. 1964)

 

 

 

Some of the most comforting words in the world are ‘me too.’ 

That moment when you find out

 that your struggle is also someone else’s struggle, 

and that others have been down the same road as you.

- Unknown -

 

More Frieda

 

We are each living in our own soap opera.

We do not see things as they really are.

We see only our interpretations.

This is because our minds are always so busy...

But when the mind calms down, it becomes clear.

This mental clarity enables us to see things as they really are, 

instead of projecting our commentary on everything.

- Tenzin Palmo -

 

 

Het leven kan erg zijn, 

 

maar zo erg als wij het maken... 

 

Nee, zo erg is het nu ook weer niet.

Toon Hermans

 

 

 

OUDE.

 

De ouderdom heeft volgens mij een tweede kwaliteit: kwetsbaarheid. 

 

Net als de jeugd, geeft ze zich kwetsbaar toe en daardoor wordt ze slim. 

 

Niets maakt dommer dan de illusie van kracht, de illusie van macht, de illusie van weten.

 

 

                            - Later ben ik een kind - Eric-Emmanuel Schmitt -

 

 

 

 Anders dan in het leven,

 alle mensen zijn gelijk in de dood.

 

Very wise from Frieda

 

 Acceptance of our past allows our subconscious mind to enter deep states of rest and recuperation.

 This is healing.

 It is not for our lack of effort that we don’t heal, but the application of too much effort at the subconscious level.

Find out where the fight is, and let go of the desire to change the past. 

You won’t have to practice any presence, but will suddenly find yourself deep in the middle of its silence.

 

 

 

The best fighter

is never angry

- Lao Tzu -

 

SisterCody