When we get angry, we suffer. If you really understand
that, you also will be able to understand that when the other person is
angry, it means that she is suffering. When someone insults you or
behaves violently towards you, you have to be intelligent enough to see
that the person suffers from his own violence and anger.
But we tend to
forget. We think that we are the only one that suffers, and the other
person is our oppressor. This is enough to make anger arise, and to
strengthen our desire to punish. We want to punish the other person
because we suffer. Then, we have anger in us; we have violence in us,
just as they do.
When we see that our suffering and anger are no
different from their suffering and anger, we will behave more
compassionately. So understanding the other is understanding yourself,
and understanding yourself is understanding the other person. Everything
must begin with you.
