You know the feeling… when someone has wronged you, and you’re absolutely convinced you’re right, and you’ve been repeating the same story so many times in your head that there’s no room for any other way it could possibly be. Keep reading to end your suffering.

Next time you feel like that, stop, take a breath, and ask yourself:

🔹 Am I Projecting?

As Anaïs Nin wisely said, “We do not see the world as it is, we see it as we are.” If someone says something that offends us, we believe a partner is not being mindful of our wishes, or we’re feeling ignored by a loved one, chances are this is not their conscious intention. More likely it’s our own unconscious insecurities coming to the surface. Before becoming angry at someone else, ask if it’s possible for you to instead meet your own needs. There is only one person you can control, after all: yourself.

🔹 Am I Reacting?

A knee-jerk reaction is rarely a productive one. If you find yourself reacting, stop and instead ask, “How can we achieve the best outcome for everyone involved?” and always, “How can I be the presence of love?”

🔹 Can I Change My Perspective?

Our reality has so many filters—our beliefs, past experiences, current emotions—that it can easily become distorted. Next time a situation with someone is bothering you, try this interesting exercise and ask yourself: “How would the other person see it?” You can get creative with other questions, such as, “How would the Dalai Lama/my childhood self/my 80-year-old self/my dog see it?” When you open yourself to a more expansive perspective, you rise above the level of the problem to the level of the solution.

- Chopra Center -